ever since i was a kid i've always thought about falling in love. my perfect man would be someone who's not afraid of showing his love and affection to me, even in front of his friends and family. he should be someone who would be a good father to my children, and would raise them not just in father-child way but as best friends.
it took me awhile to find the man i want to be with. i guess, i was just making sure that i wouldn't end up like my dad and mom. for so many instances, i almost ended up marrying somebody whom i thought was right for me. but i would often back out.
i'm finally married, with wonderful children and a husband who fits my perfect man to the T. so why am i not happy? why do i feel lonely? i suppose it had something to do with me living by myself while my husband and children are living together. i suppose it's because i am not sure if we'll ever be together in one house again, or if we'll really ever be together again.
it's not that i don't trust him, or me,or our love. this isn't just how i imagined my family would be, my role as a mother and wife. people have been telling me that i shouldn't be asking too much, that life isn't always how you want it to be.
sometimes i would wonder if i'm being punished ... if he's still trying to get back at me for what hss happened to us before. there are times when i would even wonder if i am just wishful thinking. am i just overdoing it, that i am just trying to pretend that this is the perfect life with the perfect man and the perfect family. what if this isn't real?
all i wanted is a family someone to go home to every night, to talk to when i'm happy or sad, to cater to, to build my life with... am i asking too much?
i'm finally married, with wonderful children and a husband who fits my perfect man to the T. so why am i not happy? why do i feel lonely? i suppose it had something to do with me living by myself while my husband and children are living together. i suppose it's because i am not sure if we'll ever be together in one house again, or if we'll really ever be together again.
it's not that i don't trust him, or me,or our love. this isn't just how i imagined my family would be, my role as a mother and wife. people have been telling me that i shouldn't be asking too much, that life isn't always how you want it to be.
sometimes i would wonder if i'm being punished ... if he's still trying to get back at me for what hss happened to us before. there are times when i would even wonder if i am just wishful thinking. am i just overdoing it, that i am just trying to pretend that this is the perfect life with the perfect man and the perfect family. what if this isn't real?
all i wanted is a family someone to go home to every night, to talk to when i'm happy or sad, to cater to, to build my life with... am i asking too much?
