fab @ 40

fab @ 40? seems to be pretty ambitious project if you ask me, but my friend are so bent on it that even if i tried to bribe them with a gift of their choice for christmas, they shunned the idea in exchange of me giving in to their desires. so here i am, their guinea pig (no pun intended) for the next 4-6 months. they plan to get me real glammed and jaded by my 40th birthday, which will be on july 22nd.

the weigh in started yesterday, 190 pounds! i was 10 pounds away from 200!okay, i have to admit, i did let go of myself for quite a while now. the whole project does thrill me but i know that this is going to be a long journey ... it's a good thing i've got friends who are willing to help.

for starters, we have to cut down on the calorie intake. since i'm not really good in keeping up with the calorie counts, we're going to cut down on the main culprit, beef and pork. this was effective to me back in 1996, where i lost a good amount of weight. this is also an easy task for me since i'm not a meat lover as well, i'm not even that excited about burgers. anyway, just to be sure that i don't go crazy eliminating the meat from my diet, i'm allowed to eat only lean beef and lean pork once a week. the rest should be a mix of veggies, fish and of course my favorite, chicken. i'm also allowed to cheat on my diet once a week, which means i can eat friend chicken, breading, skin and all (wheee!!!).

second task would be physical activities. this is very important since i have a semi-sedentary lifestyle which requires me to sit for more than 9 hours at work. my activities would be a combination of swimming, during Mondays and Thursday, Hip Hop classes on Wednesdays and walking for 2 to 3 miles everyday. this is going to be a challenge for me since i leave the office at 12nn which means i'll be doing these activities in high noon. i'm still thinking of a way to compromise, especially with swimming. i might move my thursday to wednesday morning. but it would also mean i have to do 2 activities in one day (grr!) anyway, this will take effect on the 2nd week of january so i still have a week to work on my game plan. i have to condition my body first through walking exercises.

third task, the food journal. though i'm fond of writing, it's really ironic cause i can't keep up with my food journal, sometimes, i'd forget my journal and worst, i'd sometimes forget what i ate. one of my friends recommended that i write down my emotions i was feeling while i ate the food. haha! that would be kinda redundant since i often end up eating because i'm bored. they says knowing how you feel when you ate a certain food can help you understand your food intake a lot better. guess so ... i got my handy dandy notebook now and although i am writing down everything i ate, i haven't really considered writing down how i felt the time i ate those food.

well, these are the tasks i have to work on for now. i'm sure things will progress in the long run. i may sound as if i'm griping but i'm actually excited of the results. here's to a healthy lifestyle in 2010.

my place in this world

another day in an empty house. i am getting tired of this set-up already. i am no longer happy with this. i was once told to put my walls up again. i think i should. i still can't understand why i have to live alone. what's the point of having a family when i can't even be with them all the time.

"parang linya ng kerida" was the joke he pulled on me last night. it sounded funny but it does feel true. i am the other woman. i could never compete with my husband's mom and i really feel bad because right now, she's even becoming more of a mother to our children.

i wanna detach myself right now. i guess i'm just hoping too much. i have to believe that this is as far as we can go. i have to move on. i need to go on this road myself. besides, that's what i've been doing for the longest time now, i was just believing otherwise.

picture perfect?

ever since i was a kid i've always thought about falling in love. my perfect man would be someone who's not afraid of showing his love and affection to me, even in front of his friends and family. he should be someone who would be a good father to my children, and would raise them not just in father-child way but as best friends.

it took me awhile to find the man i want to be with. i guess, i was just making sure that i wouldn't end up like my dad and mom. for so many instances, i almost ended up marrying somebody whom i thought was right for me. but i would often back out.

i'm finally married, with wonderful children and a husband who fits my perfect man to the T. so why am i not happy? why do i feel lonely? i suppose it had something to do with me living by myself while my husband and children are living together. i suppose it's because i am not sure if we'll ever be together in one house again, or if we'll really ever be together again.

it's not that i don't trust him, or me,or our love. this isn't just how i imagined my family would be, my role as a mother and wife. people have been telling me that i shouldn't be asking too much, that life isn't always how you want it to be.

sometimes i would wonder if i'm being punished ... if he's still trying to get back at me for what hss happened to us before. there are times when i would even wonder if i am just wishful thinking. am i just overdoing it, that i am just trying to pretend that this is the perfect life with the perfect man and the perfect family. what if this isn't real?

all i wanted is a family someone to go home to every night, to talk to when i'm happy or sad, to cater to, to build my life with... am i asking too much?

Kris - in Love????

nope,these aren't my words ... it 's Kris's, but i was there while he was writing these lines. uh,you can say i was his critic (hehe!) it's quite unusual to see him write poems on the spot (although lately i do hear him humming some tunes). blame it on love??? nah! he's in denial lately but i think i know him better than that...

memories from past creeps in

bittersweet moments now haunting

a feeling i'm so scared of smiles at me

do i smile back and embrace it?

i've been scarred by u many times

so much that i've become numb

you come to me now with a hope

do i open myself and let u in?

kisses and touches, innocent prelude to lust

an old friend has returned and whispers

you found me at my weakest exploit

do i succumb and let myself be consumed?

will i? ...

yes ...

not that i need to ...

it's because i want to.

dead again...

The Cookie Didn't Crumble This Time

This season's American Idol is the best I've seen so far. Finally, after 6 seasons, the audience was able to distinguish talent from mere star potential. I've been watching the entire season. It was obvious at first that David Archuleta was the crowd favorite. Well, let's just say, the teen population in the US is a lot bigger than the rockers and alternative music lovers combined. But after watching the finale yesterday, it felt good to see the BEST winning the crown. The Cookie ruled!!!! For the first time, a rocker dude won the title.

I've always loved David Cook. His rendition of "Billy Jean" made me a complete Cookie fan. He first reminded me of Blake Lewis from last season. Unfortunately, after Blake's successful beat box version of Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name", he turned out to be a disappointment, unable to duplicate his success from that one song. In David's case, he has been consistent. He never compromised his style and identity, even if it meant singing Mariah Carey's cutsie song "Always be my Baby". He definitely brought the house down that night. I was expecting something stronger, like "Hero" but he does know his music and knows how to get around it, even if he was singing a love song. He proved it again during the judge's choice for the Top 3. Simon's choice,"First Time I Ever Saw Your Face" by Roberta Flack, only proved that they were trying to sabotage David Cook. But he proved them wrong, never thought a slow sentimental song would sound good even in rock. As Simon has said, "Round one goes to Cowell and Cook".

Can't wait to see what season 8 has to offer.

The Commuter in Me

I am not an avid fan of public transportation. My definition of public transportation are limited to jeeps, provincial buses and taxis. I seldom leave my home base which is Makati. Living in Makati could make anyone a contended cow. It almost has everything so there's no point in going to another town or city.

Two weeks ago, I was forced to leave my comfort zone. I had to start a new job, in Cubao, of all places. Cubao is the first leisure/commercial area in Quezon City or QC. I used to live in QC and Cubao was one of the first to provide shopping malls and department stores in the Philippines. Unfortunately, it's at the other side of the map. Makati is considered the south side, QC would be the north side.

Taking a cab is not advisable. Besides the traffic that I may experience along EDSA, I would have to pay a pricey amount for cab fare. Just the other week, I came home late from a night out with my batchmates in training and although the streets were deserted, I still got to shell out 150 pesos for a trip back to Makati.

My best option is the MRT. My first MRT, or shall we say train experience, was in Hong Kong, where they call it MTR. There are some discouraging points though. One, I have to climb my way to the train station which is about 2 stories high. Then, I have to bear with the sea of people, trying to purchase their tickets. On bad days, I would be cramped sooooo much in a train that I don't have to hang on to the hand rail to prevent myself from falling while the train hits the brakes. But I eventually got the hang of it (no pun intended) like taking the elevator when it's available or buying a stored value card which could last me for a week. Yep, I'm still alive. Though I really have to allot like 1 1/2 hours for travel time at least, I don't look all stressed out when I reach my destination. You wouldn't see me catching the EDSA bus though. I'd rather pay 150 pesos.

Well, the worst is yet to come. I haven't experienced extreme rains, flooded streets and my worst fear of all, the MRT shutting down due to technical (or mechanical) problems (knock on wood!)

As for Cubao, it's not that bad. My route from the MRT station to the office includes going through the malls: Farmer's, Gateway and Shopwise ... a pleasure to the eyes for a mall rat like me.

Split Decision

Imagine what a split decision could make.2 weeks ago, I was in this very same room moaning and groaning in boredom. I made a quick decision to pack our bags and go home ... and that's what we did.

I settled in my house in Makati, uncertain on what's gonna happen next. My initial plan was to go to Eperf and finalize my exit. My feet brought me to Cubao instead. With no preparations at all, I faced the challenge of applying to the company I said I wouldn't work for. I love the job, it's the location that kept killing me. Thankfully, there was the MRT and what seemed like eternity to get to took me only 30minutes.

A week later, I was training for IP. First week brought too much pressure on me because there were a lot of expectations on someone who's been through the same job.

Last Friday's final assessment was gruesome - couldn't eat, had too much coffee and shivering the entire time. The pressure was at its peak. My mission then was to make it on the first try. Though I was expecting to be sent back for more training (because of my grammar and pronunciation slips), I convinced myself that I am good enough to be accelerated. No, not only good enough, I am one of the best who deserves to be accelerated. With that in mind, I brazened myself to war. Arms flying, talking at the top of my lungs ... being alone in the room helped a lot because I wasn't conscious of what I was going to do. I had a game plan, impress the Canadians - and that I did.

Second week of training now. More to come. PST's more on the technical stuff. Lots of keys to press, lots of protocols to remember ... just had to keep focused for 2 weeks and then i'll be off to the floor and that's when the "like riding a bike" happens.

CiJ and Gabe's Graduation Rites at Inner Wheel

Yup, a year has passed since we enrolled them in school. Our boys were very excited back then because they were going to the same school. We were just trying to make things end back then so we just recycled their old bags and it took us a month to buy their school shoes.

Well, here they are right now. More mature, more knowledgeable and more confident of themselves. They even have their awards to boost. Gabe was honored "Best in English" and CiJ was "Second Honor for Prep Students".

This WAS me

For those of you who can't believe it (me included hehe!), this was me 20 years ago. This was sometime in 1988, my Mom was on her very first vacation since she left for the Middle East, my sister was 1st year in college and the baby I was holding was Sam, barely 2 years old.

I was a swimmer at PLM hence the nice arms and shoulders. Unfortunately, that was the last time I've seen myself to be that fit. I lost gained weight after college and lost it again sometime in '96 but was never able to get that same kind of physique. Blame it on bad metabolism. haha!

Goodbye Past, Hello Present

Thanks to our new broadband connection, along with the new laptop (and of course to my mom who paid for the connection), I was able to clean up my email account. That account was opened when I worked for AMN. We were all required to have a new yahoo account for business purposes. I was reading mostly my Sent Items and Drafts when I chanced upon two letters that were not sent. One was an open letter to James during our "hard times" and the other was a copy of my conversation with a person that shall we say "changed our lives". It felt different reading those two letters. It did remind me of those times but it doesn't seem to hurt anymore. I know I saved those messages to remind me not to get hurt again. But it doesn't seem to be like that anymore. So, along with the other messages stored in my email account, I deleted them. It's my version of letting go and living in the present so I could move on to my future... our future.

TOP DESIGN

I've always dreamed of remodeling a house. I remember when James and I had our first place,I've always had these fantasies of how our bedroom should be, how the bathroom would be like. That's why it didn't come up as a surprise to me when I took the job when my mom said we're gonna renovate our house in Cavite. I couldn't go to work then as per doctor's orders so I took the job.

Figuring out what to do with the house was easy but designing it was the hardest part. First off were the painting. The house sure needed a new coat of paint but I never thought there would be so many colors to choose from. I decided to come up with 2 different colors for each bedroom. Since my mom is expected to stay in the master bedroom, I choose a very light pink for it's shade. Since she also liked violet, I decided to use a small hint of purple on the borders, as well as the doors and cabinets. But then there was also the issues of the tiles to go with the paint. I chose a darker shade of red that looks but doesn't feel like a carpet. The second room was easier. Since I've grown accustomed to different shades of blue, I've decided to use it as my basic color then added some darker shades to highlight the doors of windows. The tile, of course, was also blue. And so, we now have the pink room and the blue room.

When we got to the kitchen, we had to consult a geomancer. I am not really a feng shui fanatic but I remember somebody telling me once that it is bad to build your kitchen on top of a septic tank as every food you cook could bring sickness to your family. It was the geomancer's idea to use green tiles on the floor, along with other buried stuff to prevent "bad spirits" from spoiling our food. Since we were supposed to tile the floor green, we decided to color the entire kitchen green. I got to discover the beauty of ceramic tiles. Unlike in the 70's and 80's, when ceramic tiles were just 1x1 in dull colors, ceramic tiles nowadays come in different sizes. It also has different colors and some, like the ones that I chose for the "green room" has designs like flowers and vines. Unfortunately, not every design would fit every decorator. The first thing you have to keep in mind is that you should have a good tiler, one like mine. He's very particular in every detail, from the cutting to the lay-out of the design.

We applied the same principle of tiling in the bathroom. Only this time, it became more delicate since he also has to create a slope going to the drain to prevent any standing water, to prevent accidents, plus he had to carefully set the toilet in place. Everything was perfect.

Well, we're halfway done. They've already put the first coat of paint at the second floor hallway, which will also be the main color of the entire house. There's also some painting to be done on the kitchen and bathroom walls. It could still take us a while, since we are still waiting for additional funds to come in but when it's all done, I'm sure it's gonna be perfect.

I Did It!

Remember what i said before about not knowing how to cook adobo? Well, after being forced to go on leave for 30 days by my cardiologist, I've finally got it. My doc advised me to go on leave due to medical reasons. When our kids had their trip, I've decided to cook adobo. I know it was like wishful thinking but I had no choice. Besides, adobo is the most advisable baon to bring since there's no fear of spoilage and it still tastes good even if it's not warm. So, ok i got all the basic ingredients ready: vinegar, soy sauce, pepper. I didn't do the standard procedure, you know pour everything in one pot, set it on fire then magic! I started putting the ingredients one portion at a time.

I mentioned that my cooking had something to do with my forced leave of absence . Well, since I've been out of work for a couple of days, the boredom was starting to kick in. And since I got nothing to do but cook that day, I got to do it without rushing things. hence, the one portion at a time. I started getting nervous when I first tasted the sauce. I was getting a taste of the vinegar which wasn't a good sign. It meant the vinegar didn't blend well with the rest of the stuff. But I kept my cool, I simmered everything on low fire for about, hmmm, 30 minutes. When i tried it again, it was getting there but not quite yet. Something was missing. I checked my pantry to see if i can find anything that I could mix in. Fish sauce (nope!), Sesame Oil (nope!), Italian seasoning (nope!), corn starch (uh uh!) ... hmm then i noticed something new in my pantry, something I don't normally buy from the groceries. Hmm... maybe a little drop would help. I poured some of my secret ingredient in my mix. Not bad ... maybe if I added a little more ... and then let it simmer again ... After 15 more minutes and a lot of prayer that this batch wouldn't turn out to be a dud like my other batches, I noticed something different. The sauce was starting to thicken and the smell ummm ummm umm!!! I tried tasting it and WOWZAH! I DID IT! It was the same thick sauced, spicy, sour, salty adobo I've always dreamed of cooking!!! I was estatic. I couldn't believe I was really tasting the "fruit of my own labor" (hehe!)

I know this may sound boring to you all but I've always said that my marriage is just like my adobo. I couldn't really find the right blend to make it work. For the secret ingredient, well I'm not gonna disclose it right now. All I know is that it really worked. As for my marriage, I guess I still have to find that secret ingredient that would make this marriage last. As of right now, all I can say is that I am enjoying my sweet life as a married person (ahem!ahem!) and would work on it and make it last.

A Walk in the Park

When was the last time you've been to Luneta Park? I'm a self-confessed mall rat. I prefer staying in air conditioned spaces where everything is within your reach. It's been years since I've gone to Luneta. I'd often walk past Luneta park when I was still in college but never really got to relish the entire thing. Yesterday, our trip with our kids was a combination of reminiscing and discovery.

We started our trip at Luneta, located along Taft Ave. The place still looked the same. The map of the Philippines still situated in the middle, however the viewing ramp is no longer there. When I got near the map, I noticed that it has embossed mountain and volcanoes on it and on the rails, it has some markers of the provinces of the Philippines.

We then proceeded to Children's Park which was located on the right side of the Department of Tourism building. There was an entrance fee of P10/person and as we entered the place, a whole rush of memories went in my mind.

The slides ...

the giant tree house ...

the giant hippo ...

and the giant fish and turtle.

They were still there!!! It was so exciting to see our kids enjoying the same place I went to 30 years ago. What surprised me the most was to see the place clean and well maintained. Although it still requires a lot of modification but it was clean enough and safe enough for children of the new generation to play with. There were even tables where people could have their picnics but with all the greens in the area,a lot of people have decided to just stay under the trees with their picnic mats.

For the people of our generation (a.k.a. born in the year of the 70's), you would probably remember the roller rink with a globe in the middle. Well, that globe was replaced by

Lapu-Lapu

and a gigantic Lapu-Lapu to boast. Then we went to the Nokia Orchidarium and Butterfly Farm. The kids were getting tired already but the man-made pond and waterfall excited them and to our surprise, they were actually enjoying it. We decided not to go to the Rizal Stadium and bayside anymore since it was already lunch time. We decided to eat lunch somewhere but as we were crossing the street, we chanced upon a calesa. The kids were excited and although it was quite expensive, P200 from Luneta Park to CCP, it was actually worth it because we got a good view of Baywalk and Manila Bay. We ended our trip at Harbor Square to have lunch, al fresco.

So to all of you guys out there, why don't you start packing your picnic basket and head out to Luneta Park and start creating your new adventure with your friends and family?

Kung Hei Fat Choi

It's the Year of the Golden Rat and since I am forcibly on leave from work, we decided to go to Ongpin (Manila's Chin atown) to witness the festivities.

Our first stop ... MANOSA!

This has been our favorite Chinese restaurant for almost 12 years now. It's styled like the old canteen type Chinese restaurants where they have tiled walls and a short order cook right at the entrance. It's located along Ongpin St. right past the small Eng Bee Tin store alongside Baker's Fair. You can ask any stall owner or vendor and they'll eagerly point you to the right direction. The food is good and cheap. For a complete meal for two which consists of fried rice, rellenong hipon, siomai, maki and drinks it's going to be less than P300 ... that's just about the same price of as two orders of an upsized hamburger meal in any fastfood joint. And the servings are big. The second floor is air conditioned though you really have to wait for a table to be available because it seems like we're not the only ones who patronizes this restaurant. Service is just satifactory though but I don't think you'll have time to complain since you'll be busy enjoying every food they serve. Our recommendations: maki - pork cutlets served on sticky brown soup; siomai - 4 giants sizes per serving; ma chang - sticky rice with some meat in the middle; kikiam and rellenong hipon. They also serve pancit bihon, miki bihon and other noodle recipes.

After our hearty meal, we decided to stroll along Ongpin. We chanced upon a dragon dance and ati-atihan on the streets. The Chinese dragons and the loud noise created by their drums are said to drive away bad spirits.

We were planning to go to a Charm store behind Sta. Cruz Church to have our feng shui but the place was crowded when we got there so we decided to end our Chinese New Year celebration instead. It sure was a wonderful experience and to all those who believe in luck Kung Hei Fat Choi!!!

American Dream

Yep, the American Dream! Every Filipino has a dream of coming to the U.S., the Land of Milk and Honey. Well, here's the real deal. My brother Sam, the farthest on the right, has made it to the "promise land". He was there on training and would a very promising career in hand. I just like this picture cause it accurately defines every Filipino had wanted, to be in the land of snow. I'm gonna elaborate more about his adventures next time. But for now, that's him right now, living the American Dream.

Why not Greenhills?

It's been more than a year since I've been to Greenhills. The last time was on impulse. I wanted to get a Converse imitation (sorry Converse - loved the shoes but just can't afford the real deal) ... which was back in 2006.

I've got several reasons why I wouldn't go back to Greenhills. First off ... TRAFFIC. I come from Makati and whichever route you take - EDSA/Wilson/San Juan ... traffic is always bad. Second ... the prices. All those oh so pretty displays ... the wide array of products, both imitations and real alike, can really make a shopaholic drool. But along with those wonderful display comes a price, and sometimes a very hefty price. As i looked around, I saw a LeSport Sac bag similar to the one i already have. Of course, the natural instinct was to ask how much it costs, wanting to know if I got a better deal or not. P600.00?!? WOAH! After much haggling, the saleslady told me the lowest she can give was P400.00. Not even close, as I got mine for P200.00.

But what I really hate about the place is the lack of responsibility amongst their security personnel. As we were heading back to Virra Mall, from the row of fastfoods from the back, I noticed that there wasn't anybody to assist the pedestrians while crossing and with the vehicles with no respect to the people crossing, it seemed like the people would have to cross at their own risk. As we were on our way home, we asked one of their uniformed men where we could get a cab. We were pointed to the taxi stand which really didn't have any use at all. We waited at the queue but noticed that other people get a better chance of getting a cab at the corner and with that, most of the cab drivers opted to go straight to that corner instead of going through their "TAXI STAND". To make matters worst, there weren't any uniformed men. I've been so used to the other malls' system, and even hospitals, that when a taxi stand would guarantee you a ride. I guess that's not the case in Greenhills. All I can say is there is no freaking fucking cab and these people whom they called security guards don't even care.

Their security personnel suck. These guys need to be sent to the commercial area a little bit down south and be trained by the security guards there. Those uniforms they're wearing has a purpose. They're not just a piece of clothing you wear to work. They comand respect and promise peace and order in the area. But then, wasn't it in Greenhills when a man got robbed of his belongings from inside his car while it was parked right in front of the parking lot's security post? Well, I wouldn't be surprised.